Two and a Half Men: Season 9
| # | Air Date | Title |
| 1 | Sep 19 2011 |
Nice to Meet You, Walden SchmidtAlan and Jake meet Walden Schmidt, a broken-hearted billionaire. |
| 2 | Sep 26 2011 |
People Who Love PeepholesWalden deals with his ex-wife, Bridget. |
| 3 | Oct 03 2011 |
Big Girls Don't Throw FoodAlan prepares Walden for a date with Bridget, while Jake decides to emulate Walden and drop out of school. |
| 4 | Oct 10 2011 |
Nine Magic FingersWalden goes looking for Mrs. Right while Alan has an opportunity to reconcile with Lyndsey. |
| 5 | Oct 17 2011 |
A Giant Cat Holding ChurroAlan has trouble accepting Lyndsey’s seedy movie past, and Walden tries to cheer him up by throwing a party. |
| 6 | Oct 24 2011 |
The Squat and The HoverWalden receives divorce papers from Bridget, but forgets his depression when he meets a girl who looks eerily like her. |
| 7 | Oct 31 2011 |
Those Fancy Japanese ToiletsJake has a crush on his chemistry tutor, who has a crush on Walden. Meanwhile, Alan obsesses over the journal his brother left him in his will. |
| 8 | Nov 07 2011 |
Thank You For The IntercourseWhen Walden begins redecorating the beach house, Alan becomes overly emotional. |
| 9 | Nov 14 2011 |
Frodo's HeadshotsUpon his release from the hospital, Alan is met with a slew of challenges that test his ability to cope. |
| 10 | Nov 21 2011 |
Fishbowl Full of Glass EyesWalden hits it off with a British babe, but neither of them is sure he’s ready to re-enter the dating world. |
| 11 | Dec 05 2011 |
A Lovely Landing StripWalden is trying his best to impress his new love interest when Bridget reappears in his life. |
| 12 | Dec 12 2011 |
One False Move, Zimbabwe!Walden’s mother arrives and Alan is smitten with her, even as she reveals a secret about Walden’s past that sends him into a downward spiral. |
| 13 | Jan 02 2012 |
Slowly and in a Circular FashionWalden’s ex-wife and mother try to take control of his company, so he turns to Alan for help. |
| 14 | Jan 16 2012 |
A Possum on ChemoZoey tries to convince Walden to cut his hair and shave; Alan and Lyndsey revive their relationship. |
| 15 | Feb 06 2012 |
The Duchess of Dull-in-SackWalden tries to loosen Zooey up by sharing some of Berta’s special brownies. |
| 16 | Feb 13 2012 |
Sips, Sonnets and SodomyWhen a huge storm keeps Walden, Alan, Zoey and Lindsay at home on Valentine’s Day, conflict brews and relationships are strained. |
| 17 | Feb 20 2012 |
Not In My MouthA near-death experience has an adverse effect on Zoey and Walden’s relationship; Alan thinks Lyndsey may have a drinking problem. |
| 18 | Feb 27 2012 |
The War Against GingivitisWalden’s ex-business partner shows up at the beach house looking to make peace. |
| 19 | Mar 19 2012 |
Palmdale, EchAlan and Lyndsey introduce their mothers. Jake and Eldridge get a ride from Walden to a party. |
| 20 | Apr 09 2012 |
Grandma's PieWalden breaks the news to Zoey that he is going into business with his ex-wife. Alan and Lyndsey try to cope with their mom’s relationship. |
| 21 | Apr 16 2012 |
Mr. Hose Says YesZoey and her daughter move in with Walden; Alan gets more than he bargained for with Lyndsey. |
| 22 | Apr 30 2012 |
Why We Gave Up WomenCharlie’s ghost pays a visit to Alan after he suffers a minor heart attack. |
| 22 | Apr 30 2012 |
Why We Gave Up Women |
| 23 | May 07 2012 |
The Straw In My Donut HoleZoey isn’t convinced Alan deserves all the love and affection he receives upon his return from the hospital. |
| 24 | May 14 2012 |
Oh Look! Al-Qaeda!Jake graduates and must decide what to do with his life. |